Darkness

Like an anchor dragging me down spinning me out of control, darkness enveloping me pulling further and further into deep dark blissful horror, full of deep blue’s, callous sapphires, dark and unknowing.

Like gunshots, the pounding on my door rang in my head with increased intensity. I rolled over, pulling the covers with me sliding across the floor, pulling myself up I pulled the door open collapsing on the floor again, not bothering to look up and see who had bothered to wake me at such an early hour.

The night before flashing across my closed eye lids like an old movie. The images flickered burning at the edges with the horror of the night before.

A handful of pills here to wash the pain away, a shot of vodka here to rinse away the memories, a flood of white, brilliant nothingness showering my veins, throwing me into all-knowing happiness, at least for the night.

Strobe lights before my eyes, music pounding in my head the white brilliance flooding my veins blurring the edges of life.

The music fading sirens filling my head, I don’t remember this, but I let the flow of nothingness guide me away. My chest pounding, from the outside in?

                Black.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~

Cover Of Night

Taking comfort in your closeness, I basked in the beauty of the stars, the silent black night holding more beauty for me now, than I can remember it ever holding. The silent laughter coming from the bonfire seemed distant, however the crackling and popping from the fire, was soothing to my mind. A gentle breeze blew over us, your cologne smothering me, not enough to make me distance myself, however just enough to make me wish you would scoot that fraction of an inch between us closer, as if I wasn’t wishing it before. You suddenly twisted on the hard bumped surface of the trucks bed, brushing your arm against mine. My heart fluttered, my breath caught in my throat, your head turned towards mine gently whispering sorry into my ear.

 “Don’t be” I whispered back, a gentle smile blew across your face. I returned the smile with one of my own, making your eyes glint with something, couldn’t be lust, sure looked like it though. As I twisted a little to my side, I brushed my arm against yours, are faces so close, you caught me, as my breath caught in my throat again. At first it was one finger gently caressing my hand, never looking away you interlocked fingers. You slowly looked back up towards the twinkling stars, giving my hand a gently knowing squeeze. We lay there together for the rest of the night, taking comfort in each other’s presence. When the morning light danced over my eyes, stirring me awake I rolled over to find you gone, and your spot filled by Alex.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~

Dreams Can Come True

I glided across the water, towards white tips of the murky green wake. I hit the wake at lightning speed, I pushed off the water, throwing myself into a head over heels spin, a back flip 360. So many things ran through my head, but the dominate part was saying land this, and you’ll go pro, land this and you’ll go pro. My world spun to a stop, when my board crashed into the bottomless blue waves. The boat pulled me and my board gently across the water. My dad screamed from the driver seat of the boat, I landed it, I landed it! The realization hit me I could go pro. I could do what I love, and have people cheer me on from the shores, more than just my friends and family, people i wouldn’t even know would come to see me, to cheer me on.

 I jumped, popping little jumps here there, I glided out of the wake again, and this time with the confidence of what I had done, I glided back into the wake pushing hard throwing myself into the air again, this time for a double back flip. My head was in the clouds my dad was screamed for me to stop, I didn’t listen I flipped over, and over brushing the water with my board, as I landed the double back flip. My dad was ecstatic his screams pounded across the water, I felt like I was flying still, I couldn’t have been happier. The small town dreams of girl made big with water, a rope, and a board.

I was blindsided by what I had done, the rest of the night was a blur, I couldn’t believe what I had done.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~

Blank Page Blank Slate

A blank page a blank slate, the feeling of his arms strong and, sturdy, rapping around me holding me from behind, comforting me, I felt as if I could fly. My wings would spread, penetrating the smooth fog filled air, pearly whiteness lifting me up into the air, launching me high above the rest of my complicated indigo life. If only, if only this feeling of blissful happiness lasted, the world would be so much easier.  I try to be honest, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can only be honest with myself, to save myself that heart splitting hurt, when my secrets are compromised, or my hear is stolen, and broken.

From first glance, there was a spark, an undeniable spark between us. The way you look at me, the way you smile when you catch me glancing your way, we have no history, and this is the first I have known of you.

“I love you Cameron James Scott” I say, gazing into your liquid brown eyes, wondering what my fate is, now that I have admitted the obvious.

“I love you to” you repeat to me, you lean forward ever so slightly, I knew what was coming, as you laid your baseball scared hand on the side of my face, as if cupping a delicate wild flower. The perfect moment, both of us sat there, in that tiny-pink-roofed-white-plastic play house, with nothing but each other. I leaned in ever so slightly; the air around me was cold, blowing through the little window with purple shudders. The scene around me seemed slightly foolish, foolishness or not, that didn’t stop you from leaning in that fraction of inch, that separated are lips. We met in the middle, of a tangled love story; you kissed me as. I leaned back, my heart fluttered, my first kiss, everyone says it will be paramount, but to me… it was better. That indescribable feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the dizziness that resides to your head, all a staggering effect of that one kiss, eighteen miraculous seconds of my life, I will never forget.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~

Honesty

I try to be honest, but I've come to the conclusion that I can only be honest with my myself. To save myself the heart spilting hurt, when my secrets are compromised, or my heart is stolen and broken.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~

Blue, what am I?

How could you call me just blue? I’m more than that, I’m deep shadowy indigo, I am deep and unknowable as well as profound. I have hidden secrets, among untold stories, of cobalt and navy. You see me in the sky, as well as the water. I am bottomless azure, combined with multilayered sapphire. I am unfathomable copious cerulean. You say you are me when you are sorrowful, but worship me when I stretch the expanse of our world. You dive into me to escape the fiery heat. You wear me on your cloths and plant me in your gardens. I am abysmal with hidden secrets, unknowable enigmatic qualities. You know who I am now, so you shall no longer call me just blue.

~TheGirlOnTheHill~